I am 25 & have been with my fiance 9yrs, im madly in love with him. He is a firefighter & works long shifts but has been with me through everything life has thrown at me. We have a son who is 3mths old and he adores him like nothing crazy. I never really believed in marriage as i have seen so many marriages fail and gone wrong but because i cant imagine my life without him i decided to get over my fear. We have been fighting so much lately even though he tells me he hates fighting with me, but we still have an amazing sex life. He was getting frustrated as i hadn't done any wedding planning yet, I have no desire at to plan or set a date as i look after our son when he works although i plan on going back to work. I was always told by people that i am hard to love as i keep so much of me guarded & don't let many people in and i know i am pushing my fiance away. Everything he has ever done for me is amazing even when i lost a baby 6 years ago, he thinks nothing is ever good enough for me. He is the man of my dreams but i feel a gap coming between us since i had our son. Last weekend when he came home after drinking with his work buddies we had an argument about the wedding plans etc & he told me if i don't start acting like i wanna be with him i would probably end up old, alone and miserable. That hurt me so much i couldn't stop crying and ended up telling him that he is only happy with me because i gave him his son and its the only reason he is with me, he ended up storming out of the house. When i seen him the morning we never spoke a word so i just left for work. We were suppose to go out with family and friends a few times but i decided to stay at home and even though he wanted to stay with me i kept telling him to go. I cry very easy lately, get angry quick and even when my son is cry i just sit there staring into space and my fiance has to attend the baby, i feel like im lost. I was thinking maybe we should take a break and maybe i should give him the ring back as its not good for us and really not good for our baby even though we don't argue around him, we don't really have money for a therapist. This is really breaking my heart, any advice?
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I have no desire to marry my fiance & we just had a baby, Should i give the ring back? Need Men&
(3 posts)-
Posted 2 years ago #
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i was once just like you. i never let anyone in so close, though i loved them dearly inside. Ive been in my relationship for a long time now though i get pushy and bitchy, but he intends to stay.. thats what makes me love him more. my past relationships i did something to get them to not want me. i feel that is what you are doing.
the thing i want to tell you is maybe try not having sex, like you say you do. keep it off for a bit and do things together, being sex deprived my help you more wanting him more.
with the baby, do things together with your fiance. be together and watch the little kid play. do little things together, as in not a romantic dinner. things like just a walk around the block and hold his hand. tell him you dont want to have a mirrage so soon UNTILL you feel the problems you have are solved, and hope he respects it.alot of women who get pregnant feel this way, like my close friend. she tried her best to want him like she did before, and now its been three years and she has been happily married, even though there are a little troubles in between.
Posted 2 years ago # -
If you really do love him, and he wants too, then you might should marry him. You have to trust love to take over. Try to remember how good he has been to you when you feel like you are getting upset easily. I assure you, as a man, if he is still with you and wants to be with you then he does love you, and he is not with you only because of yall's kid... Also, if not for him, be strong for your child. It deserves a good mother AND a father. I hope I have helped some, God bless!
Posted 2 years ago #
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