Save yourself a lot of irritation and don't compare yourself to your husband. Men lose weight much easier than women, due in part to their being larger, with more muscle mass and thus higher metabolism. Also, weight loss becomes even more difficult for women in their 30s & 40s. AND, yes, starving all day is a bad habit. Your body responds by lowering its metabolism to conserve energy. Eat small meals throughout the day to keep it at optimal speed, focus on fruits, vegetables, lean protein, healthy fats (olive oil, not butter) and whole grains, avoid refined and processed foods. Weight watchers online is by far the most successful weight loss program in the world and is easy to follow; the website has messageboards which can give you a lot of support.
I hope your husband sees a doctor. Immobility can cause a lot of physical problems, and unexplained weight loss should always be checked out.